Disney coined the term “twitterpated” in its 1942 animated movie Bambi to explain to young audiences how the birds and the bees act during mating season. In the concrete jungle that is New York, all the animals who’ve been hibernating in their dens during the winter find themselves poised to emerge now that warmer temperatures have signaled spring’s arrival.
Yours truly is among them.
But this self-described “cold-hearted snake” has grown tired of slithering around with the underbelly of homosexual society. Most recently I entertained a vertically challenged specimen whose growth turned out to be just as stunted in other ways as well. Oh, get your mind out of the gutter! I mean he was massively immature. And alright (I’ll admit it), I’m a size queen and yes, he was lacking in that department too.
It’s time to shed my skin and expose myself (even at the risk of getting hurt), because as George Michael put it, “There is no joy for an uptown boy who just is unwilling to try.”
On that note, I’ve started to think about my dating life much as I would my career. It occurs to me that the more experience we acquire (in our chosen fields or in our social circles), the greater clarity we gain about the direction in which we prefer to take our lives. If each day we make one bold move toward where we want to be, eventually it’s possible to live the dream (and if I’m lucky, perhaps it’ll be a wet dream).
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