Every time my blood boils, I somehow manage to grow a little colder on the inside. It’s alarming how frequently I gravitate towards frustration (some might argue it borders on anger although I don’t act out on that emotion) even during circumstances when most other people might feel sad.
Here’s where I’m going with this: I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m essentially devoid of certain emotions and basically not strong enough to make myself vulnerable.
To be frank (because at the moment “it sucks to be me”), my little epiphany comes after a series of extremely trying events over the last week. At the risk of throwing myself a pity party, I’ll spare you the details. Instead, cue the aforementioned song selection from Avenue Q:
As luck would have it, some homosexual on Grindr sent me a completely unsolicited message about this very subject. He had no knowledge I was writing this piece at the time, and proceeded to block me after I entertained his thoughts. BUT… not before I snapped a few screenshots of the conversation:
To bring everyone up to speed, my headline says I’m “looking to date.” And allow me to make one thing clear: I’m not attempting to mock this feedback. I harbor no hard feelings towards this guy. In fact, I admire his way with words. See below. Perhaps you’ll agree he’s slightly poetic as the message wraps up.
At this point, he starts to retreat saying, “I’d rather end it here since I have absolutely no interest in anything in this space.” But, for whatever reason, he kept going.
To be continued…