Grindr: A SeamlessWeb to Feed Fast-Food Cravings Wets My Appetite for a Full English Breakfast

What I lack in a physical appetite for food, I certainly make up for in the bedroom. Sexually speaking, I’m hungry like a wolf.

As I’ve mentioned before, caviar is a homosexual’s delicacy. But that’s just a sampling of what’s available on the menu.

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I prefer take out — to order my food in and have it delivered to me at home. To be frank, I’d rather shove chopsticks up my nose and scramble my brain than be forced to swallow some Asian invasion’s sweet and sour sauce. Most egg rolls are too small for my taste. That’s not to suggest I’ve passed on sushi. I’ve even given kimchi a try. Chop suey just isn’t my preference.

Please tell me you catch my drift. Otherwise the rest of this will be hard to follow.

I digress.

Last night, I had souvlaki. And the night before that, I got onto the SweamlessWeb that is Grindr and placed an order for Middle Eastern cuisine. Talk about a weapon of mass destruction. Most guys are lucky to have chickpeas in their nut sacks. This guy had falafels overloaded with hummus.

Aside from the Clear Eyes, let’s just say the dude knocked my pita into next week and now, I’m taking steps in easy strides.

Again, I digress.

When you’ve sampled such a worldly cuisine, you develop a refined palate. Now that I have a few wining and dining (dating) experiences under my belt, I appreciate the tasting menu my convenient “fast-food” lifestyle afforded me (and on some occasions continues to provide whenever the mood dictates). At the very least, I know which foods bring me comfort. For someone who’s never had breakfast in bed, it’s something to think dating may bring me one step closer to waking sunny side up next to a partner whose bacon I’ll make sizzle every morning.  All I’d ask for in return is a little cream to go with my coffee.  😛  Bon appetit!

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